GI Joe 3

nacho

"Big Guns"
Founder
Mar 14, 2011
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#2
Well, they smooshed all the hasbro franchises together in the comics, and it really ruined Joe, IMO. Only the first issue of the new joe series is out, but it's bad... just terrible. Skywarp on the Joe team? It removes all pretense of military realism and shoves it so far up science fiction's ass that I don't recognize it. Le sigh.

I don't get too worked up over the films, as I know they aren't going to be "my" Joe, no matter what. Any movie is going to be some over the top action movie, trying to appeal to a much wider audience, and that's fine. But I've long since gotten past the age where I'm going to get worked up over it. If Ripcord can be a Wayans, anything can happen - yeah, I went there, and it only took one post ;)
 

Giga Bread

Mega Calories!
Aug 20, 2011
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4
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#4
I love the early science fiction of Joe v. Cobra but I can't stand Transformers in the mix because they're so freaking overpowered. They'll probably do it as a Titanfall ripoff.
 

nacho

"Big Guns"
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Mar 14, 2011
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#5
Yeah, I have no problem with a laser trooper or even a "sci-fi" weather machine. But when you add in giant alien robots, it becomes a cosmos-spanning conflict rather than a half-way realistic attempt to protect god & country from car-salesman terrorists.

It ratchet's up the conflict so much that Joes basically have no place in it. Hasbro thinks it's a cool synergy to integrate all their properties. To me, it just makes them less special and unique.
 

Videoviper

illuminati
Officer Club
Aug 15, 2012
5,034
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#10
I took my nephew to see transformers 2, during the scene with Devistaor's "balls" we both looked at each other with an apoligetic look & realized we were both embarressed to be watching this.

I never saw a TF movie in theaters again.

If they could combine Joe & transformers not Bayformers which is a nightmare, then I would enjoy it especially if it was part of a surprise ending.
 

G.I.*EDDIE

gobbles a LOT of cock
Founder
Mar 14, 2011
43,433
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S.E. Mich :(
#11
If the TF's were G1 designs I'd be all over that! I don't care if the rest was typical Bay story/plot/explosions, just seeing the G1 designs represented as real on screen would be amazing.

I'm shallow. Had Superman been wearing his traditional costume in the new DC films, I would have loved them instead of loathing them.
 

NSA

Brotherhood
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Mar 13, 2011
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#18
The Snake Eyes movie is supposed to film this fall and come out next October (2020) so this would be ANOTHER movie.. 2 GI JOE movies?!

IF (huge giant if) they could pull off a MCU and do individual JOE movies and then a big GI JOE movie with all the team.. that could be cool. I mean GI JOE is basically the Avengers of the military.
 

zodiacflash

Have Gun Will Travel
May 28, 2013
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Houston
#20
I remember when Rise of Cobra came out. A friend at work said "Oh, man! It's awesome! It's exactly like the comic books. You'll love it!"

Last time I ever took movie advice from a chick.

I'm reminded of Kevin Smith's story about how he was asked to write a script for a new Superman movie, and he got a barrage of shit from the producers like, Why does he have a cape? Lose the cape, it's dumb. He gets his energy from the sun? No, no, that's no good. Put thrusters on his boots. He can get his ability to fly that way. It's almost like these guys spent their whole lives under a rock and never actually heard of Superman.

I assume the same thing happened with G.I. Joe. Someone wrote an awesome script, based in the early 1980's with a bad-ass team put together from all branches of the AMERICAN military, based in AMERICA, with the older and more experienced members being Vietnam vets (or change it to modern times, I can live with that). The mission, of course, is to defeat this new terrorist organization called Cobra that's running around fucking shit up and making relations more tense between east and west.

And then, the people who actually decide how movies are made got involved. The result was a piece of shit that I walked out of about 2/3rds through. I understand that you can't please all the old school die-hard fans, and nobody will ever be completely happy with your final product, but God damn, at least fucking TRY!!!!! And I can't watch Retaliation.

The only advice I can give... as much as I hate to say it, and hate to see it happen... Reboot.

And this time, make an actual G.I. Joe movie.

Maybe I'm just a grouch
 
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pcsguy88

Number 2
Staff member
Mar 14, 2011
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#21
The one with the Rock and Bruce Willis was way better, but still severely lacking. How do you fuck up a movie with those two actors?!? Chuckles would be great (I do not remember him in any cartoon) if they took the Baywatch approach and just made Magnum PI fun of themselves the whole time. It’s really the only way I ever see Joe gaining an audience. Just parody the shit out of the ridiculous characters and plotlines.
 
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NSA

Brotherhood
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#23
  • NSA

    NSA

I mean, why bother casting a known actor for someone who doesn't speak or show themselves? Maybe he knows Kung-fu? I liked him in Crazy Rich Asians, so I'm fine with it.

Really, at this point, none of the original GI JOE backstory makes any sense. Snake-eyes wasn't fighting in NAM anymore.. he'd be way too old. Sure, you could do a 1:1 age up with Iraq or something.. but.. meh.

Like pcsguy88 said, they need to go full Baywatch style and just make it FUN with lots of laughs. No one wants to see a gritty Black Hawk Down GI JOE movie (other than us). Rise of Cobra was too much a sci-fi weird tech movie.

If Marvel has taught me anything, you BUILD UP to the weirdness. Get people on-board with a semi-silly war/action movie, build the team, and then start working your way to MASS Devices and WEATHER CONTROL MACHINES and blue and red lasers.