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G.I.*EDDIE

gobbles a LOT of cock
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Mar 14, 2011
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S.E. Mich :(
It reminds me of this old joke.

So this guy has been drinking with his buddies all night and he's as drunk as a skunk, gets home, falls up the stairs, undresses and goes to bed next to his wife. He falls asleep and next thing he knows, bang, he dies and finds himself waiting at the pearly gates.

The guy refuses to believe this is happening, he says to St. Peter: "This can't be possible, I'm a healthy man! This is not the way I die. You have to let me return down there!"
The guy can see St. Peter looks like he's feeling sorry for him, but he tells him that unfortunately, there's no policy for allowing people back on Earth. The guy insists: "But come on, there's got to be something you can do! I'll put up with anything, really, as long as you let me go back down."
So St. Peters tells him: "Well really, there's just this one possibility: you can go back, but only as a hen. That's the only thing we can allow." The guy guesses that this really is his only chance, so he agrees reluctantly.
So he's back on Earth in this beautiful chicken coop, the sun is shining, there's green grass everywhere, this is hen paradise. The other hens greet him with delight and he tells them his story, everything goes nicely. But then he feels kind of unwell, there's something wrong with his stomach. He asks this old hen: "Tell me, I've got this weird feeling in my belly, I'm not too well. What is happening to me?"

The old hen: "Well dearie, we hens lay eggs, you know. I bet you've never laid a nice egg before... You need to push it out now, and you'll feel much better after!"
So the guy pushes and pushes, and wham, out pops his first egg. The old hen congratulates him and he feels much better. But not 5 minutes later, his pain comes back. He returns to the old hen for advice.

"Well dearie, it's quite special but it happens that you need to lay TWO eggs, so go back there and keep pushing!"
So he goes back to his nest and pushes, and nothing comes, and he pushes harder, and wham, out comes his second egg! He feels much better, but not 2 minutes later, you guessed it, he's back in terrible pain and goes to see the old hen.

"What's this bullshit here, and don't tell me I've got a third egg to lay!" The old hen can't make heads or tail of it and just tells him that when in doubt, he should be pushing. So the guy goes back to work and then, WHAM! His wife wakes him up with this smashing slap in the face and yells: "Wake up!! You're shitting the bed!"
TL;DR Guy dreams he's a hen laying eggs. Wife wakes him up and tells him he's crapping the bed.
 
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NSA

♪♪Too Many Cooks♪♪
Cook
Mar 13, 2011
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www.fighting118th.com
I remember at comic con one year we had a friend come down and we all got trashed.

We woke up in the morning and there was piss all over the bathroom, everywhere except the toilet. My friend insisted he peed in the toilet but he was the only one to use that bathroom and he was so blackout drunk he couldn't really remember.

I had to imagine it was like a firehose going wild haha
 

G.I.*EDDIE

gobbles a LOT of cock
Founder
Mar 14, 2011
40,194
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S.E. Mich :(
I was hanging out with my sister and one of her friends in her room one time and our younger brother comes in all woozy looking and asks if he can use her bathroom. She jokingly says sure assuming that he is joking. So he goes in to the corner and starts peeing into her trash can. :laugh:

Obviously sleeping, but gross and funny at the same time.
 

ThunderDan19

Here Comes the Boom!!!
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Mar 14, 2011
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Those were all good. While I love the idea of having a Space Force, it seems a little late with no shuttles flying and the country 20 tril in debt. So do you spend even more money to build an actual space military branch or just keep hitching rides with the Ruskies, but maybe with a rank and uniform on beneath your space suit? Seems like were behind before even getting started.