The Official Funny Things Thread!

nacho

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I put these here, but I suspect in the next five years, they'll need to be moved to the "In the News" thread...


 
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nacho

"Big Guns"
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Hahahahaha


During his first report last night at the Kenosha riots, the dog stood in front of a tire fire and reported to both of CNN's faithful viewers that "this is fine." A brick flew over his head and a Molotov cocktail lit his face on fire, melting the flesh from his bones. "This is fine," he assured the viewers.
 
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NSA

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Really just same size as this:



If it has the logo and stuff would be nice, but really not required at this point. Beeavision had the template with the... 7 layer burrito or whatever.. and I believe it's all be lost to time.
 

ThunderDan19

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CA themed in honor of our dear leader:



 
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nacho

"Big Guns"
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Those arent showing up, who was it?

They were videos of TED talks that James Veitch gave about responding to scam email and fucking with the Nigerian prince and such. They were rather amusing.

The problem is that the day after I posted those videos, he got "me too"ed, and thus all his stuff was taken down because the mob cancelled him.
 

nacho

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ThunderDan19

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Right? I always thought it was travesty that mosquitoes and wasps, who only really contribute the spread of disease, itching and pain get to live and attack their victims repeatedly, while honey bees, who contribute that glorious glorious honey, have to give their all, most often simply in defense of their home. :(
 
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nacho

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I dunno, I think I like spiders more than wasps. Spiders leave me alone, while wasps attack with less provocation than a BLM protestor.

Is that even a wasp in the pic? Most of our wasps are the brown variety that are quite a bit larger than our spiders, or we have the mean black and yellow striped ones that resemble yellowjackets, except they build regular wasp nests and don't live in a random hole in the ground.

The thing in that picture looks more like a dirt dobber, but it's either very small or that spider is huge. Dirt dobbers are definitely our friends. They make the little dirt columns and then fill them with spiders they have killed, much like squirrels stocking up on nuts.
 
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ThunderDan19

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We have tons of spiders right now, many of them big ol' fat ones. They seem to come out at the end of summer and build their webs at about face height for me. I normally like having them around to keep the other nuisance flying insects down, but if their web gets me in the face, you can bet I'm gonna kill that little sucker.
 
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pcsguy88

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I found 3 full size Recluse in my detached garage this weekend while beginning the packing process. One of them was chewing on an even larger wolf spider, so yeah, team wasp here.
 

nacho

"Big Guns"
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I don't think I've ever seen a recluse, although I know they exist here. We have plenty of harmless wolf spiders that are frequently misidentified as BR's. I've spotted a black widow 2-3 times in my life, but I've never really had a bad spider-encounter.

Wasps on the other hand are aggressive little f#$%ers.
 

NSA

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We have Black Widows out the wazoo here it seems. Anything dark and dank.. you can bet there is one hiding in there. They tend not to want anything to do with people though, and don't seem at all fast, so I haven't ever really felt threatened by them. We also have BROWN widows, which I guess aren't as venomous (but still venomous), and are really everywhere. It's annoying.

Don't think I've ever seen a brown recluse though, thank goodness.

We have bees and yellow jackets here, they come to the pool when it's hot. Only see a very occasional wasp or two, and no murder hornets yet.
 

Videoviper

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Had to clear out a wasp nestslast spring. I hate the fuuuuckers!!!!! Surprised I was not stung although they tried.

2 weeks ago one of the bastards dive bombed me with mowing the lawn. My head still hurts a little.

Love my spiders they eat the things I would have to kill otherwise.
 

ThunderDan19

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Crazy how a balanced environment is actually more pleasant than a more "developed" one. We had to drop my son's best friend off at his house on our way back from vacation. They live in a suburban neighborhood very near to where we used to live. In the 5 or so minutes we exchanged pleasantries with his dad outside their place, we got swarmed by mosquitoes, and I mean dozens of them.

My wife and kids all got bit a few times and at least a half dozen flew into our minivan so we had to exterminate them on the way home. Meanwhile, at our home in the woods, I haven't seen that many mosquitoes all summer. We have the predators around to cull their population enough for comfort and our land drains pretty well so we don't have a lot of the standing water breeding grounds they have back where we used to live.