The Official Funny Things Thread!
- Thread starter Cloud Strife
- Start date
Why does anyone live there? Is the weather (minus the floods, fires and earthquakes) really THAT good???
I mean, realistically.. a lot of people never leave where they grow up, so a lot of people just think of CA as home. It's been this way pretty much for a long time.. so it's more of a slowly boiling pot I suppose. People are escaping at record rates though, so I feel like we may be getting to a tipping point soon.
The weather is VERY nice in a lot of areas. Low of 50, high of 100, usually around 75 and sunny at any point during the year. You can drive to surf, sand, snow within a couple hours most times of the year. You can make a LOT of money here. Things COST a lot too, but if you've grown up here, have a family house/etc it's clearly not completely unaffordable. There are also cheap areas of CA.. but they're not very nice at all.
Being close to Hollywood is also a draw for some people I would assume. If your goal is to 'make it big' your chances are better here than anywhere else, as with anything else in life, it's usually WHO you know not what you know.
Floods aren't a huge thing thanks to no rain, fires suck, but they don't happen where most people live, and earthquakes are so few and far between I don't even think they should really be considered. Sure, a big one could come and fuck shit up.. but the last one I recall doing anything like that was Northridge in.. 1994? 26 years ago! Hurricanes and tornadoes are a yearly affair, so I'd be more afeared of those personally.
The weather is VERY nice in a lot of areas. Low of 50, high of 100, usually around 75 and sunny at any point during the year. You can drive to surf, sand, snow within a couple hours most times of the year. You can make a LOT of money here. Things COST a lot too, but if you've grown up here, have a family house/etc it's clearly not completely unaffordable. There are also cheap areas of CA.. but they're not very nice at all.
Being close to Hollywood is also a draw for some people I would assume. If your goal is to 'make it big' your chances are better here than anywhere else, as with anything else in life, it's usually WHO you know not what you know.
Floods aren't a huge thing thanks to no rain, fires suck, but they don't happen where most people live, and earthquakes are so few and far between I don't even think they should really be considered. Sure, a big one could come and fuck shit up.. but the last one I recall doing anything like that was Northridge in.. 1994? 26 years ago! Hurricanes and tornadoes are a yearly affair, so I'd be more afeared of those personally.
Sorry, I should have written mudslides. Got floods on the mind from all the issues down south with the tropical storms. But, in all seriousness, CA was a paradise (except for the looming threat of the big one) until it was wrecked by progressive leadership. Fortunately, for now at least, there are a number of very nice destinations willing to accept CA refugees, as long as they leave their politics behind.
Emphasis mine. That's a key point. For decades we've had yankees trickle into our rural county, usually what we call "half-backs", i.e. people from New York, New Jersey, Ohio, Michigan, etc who escape to Florida and find all that hot sticky weather and hurricanes not to their liking. So they move here, i.e. halfway back north, for four seasons and lake property.
This is not a problem. We're the welcoming types. But they arrive at the same time they're retired, bored, and suddenly have lots of free time. Thus they become active in the community and immediately try to change things, starting every sentence with, "Well, back in ______, THIS is how we did it." Let me tell you, nothing curdles the blood of locals more than being lectured to by people who want to change OUR place into the 'utopia' the noobs just escaped from.
And I could see the same being true for people bringing blue-state politics to some calm, live-and-let-live locale. It would not be received well.
That’s what happened to Seattle. It was pretty Red when we got their in ‘80, but we were just the tip of the spear of California transplants and they definitely brought their politics with them.
We got derailed in here, my bad. This is for funny things! Back on track!
We use to drink on a friend’s deck as teens and throw balls out onto the course any time someone hit one within range. Good times.
Who knows.. I used to love them, they were hilarious.. but they got hit with the wokevirus I think.
Biden: 'It's Ridiculous To Say I Use A Teleprompter And Your PC Ran Into A Problem And Needs To Restart'
WILMINGTON, DE—There have been some suggestions that presidential candidate Joe Biden has been using a teleprompter when he’s supposed to be spontaneously answering questions. The campaign has vigorously denied this, but the charge has resurfaced because of an unusual answer Biden gave recently...
babylonbee.com
... as if Trump voters were rioting, looting, and burning.
When did the Onion develop TDS? Did they get bought out by the Clinton Foundation?
When did the Onion develop TDS? Did they get bought out by the Clinton Foundation?
I think at some point their parent company got the TDS real bad, and it's seeped down. They used to skewer both sides pretty well, but now it's all anti-Trump all the time.
Here's a palate cleanser... 
babylonbee.com
"Here at Fisher-Price, we are steadfastly committed to social justice," said toy designer Camden Flufferton. "We need to teach our kids what democracy looks like, and there's no better example of democracy in action than violent vandalism and arson. We hope this new playset will serve as an inspiration for parents wanting to teach their kids how to threaten citizens with violence whenever their demands are not met."
Fisher-Price Releases 'My First Peaceful Protest' Playset With House You Can Actually Burn Down
EAST AURORA, NY—The toy geniuses at Fisher-Price have announced a brand new toy made just for leftist parents and their kids: the My First Peaceful Protest playset. The kid-size clubhouse will come with several varieties of spray paint so kids can tag the tiny building with their own empowering...
babylonbee.com
"Here at Fisher-Price, we are steadfastly committed to social justice," said toy designer Camden Flufferton. "We need to teach our kids what democracy looks like, and there's no better example of democracy in action than violent vandalism and arson. We hope this new playset will serve as an inspiration for parents wanting to teach their kids how to threaten citizens with violence whenever their demands are not met."
This one's for NSA ...
babylonbee.com
State With No Electricity Orders Everyone To Drive Cars That Run On Electricity
SACRAMENTO, CA—Gavin Newsom, governor of the state with the highest people-to-electricity ratio in the nation, banned gasoline cars yesterday via executive order. The order takes effect in 2035, meaning by that time, everyone in the state with no electricity will only be able to plug in their...
babylonbee.com
He's not wrong (filthy lawyer), but c'mon. The Marion thing surprised me the most. I thought (probably from the smoker voice) she was at least 30. Even as a kid, I imagined smelling stale cigarettes every time she talked.
The actress was about 30 when the movie came out, and Ford was in his late 30s.
As the video says, I guess they were saying she was younger?
Doesn't really bug me personally.. but whatever
As the video says, I guess they were saying she was younger?
Doesn't really bug me personally.. but whatever
Yeah, it'd be very different if they had said "I was 15!" instead of "I was a child!" There are plenty of 18 year olds that are most definitely still children and make stupid decisions (like banging their teachers/professors).
Real life age "10 years ago" would have made the actors like 19/20 and 27/28 I think, so nothing super egregious.
15 and 25 is a bit.. problematic lol but in the 1930s? Who knows.. also since they were apparently doing archeology digs during this time.. who knows the laws wherever they were! Technically, it just says they had a relationship, maybe it was non-sexual
15 and 25 is legal in CA now anyway
15 and 25 is a bit.. problematic lol but in the 1930s? Who knows.. also since they were apparently doing archeology digs during this time.. who knows the laws wherever they were! Technically, it just says they had a relationship, maybe it was non-sexual
15 and 25 is legal in CA now anyway
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Man my stepdaughter found a Netflix dvd I still had and was amazed. I shit you not she was video chatting with her friends about it for an hour.
It's okay now because...
I think he might actually stand a chance against a Xeno... Maybe a tag team with Chuck Norris.
My wife told me this one: So Trump gets Covid and develops the antibodies. The antibodies are extracted from his blood, cloned and used in the vaccine. Would the TDS sufferers still demand that everyone takes the vaccine???
Tiger blood, baby!!!
I think he might actually stand a chance against a Xeno... Maybe a tag team with Chuck Norris.
My wife told me this one: So Trump gets Covid and develops the antibodies. The antibodies are extracted from his blood, cloned and used in the vaccine. Would the TDS sufferers still demand that everyone takes the vaccine???
Tiger blood, baby!!!