You're So On Fleek SJW

zodiacflash

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#4
I don't think Texas will fall prey to this. We all know the faculty and 95% of the students at UT (especially Austin) are a bunch of kooky moonbats. Kinda wonder what the UT System Chancellor, William McRaven (Navy SEAL, former commander of U.S. Special Operations) thinks about it. I bet he's biting his tongue. Besides, to quote the article, "There is no evidence that masculinity itself contributes to violence. Universities that run similar programs, such as UNC-Chapel Hill and Northwestern, have admitted that their programming isn’t supported by any evidence." But try telling that to today's college students as they surround and kick the crap out of you for being a violent, closed-minded fascist who wandered too close to their safe space.
 
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pcsguy88

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#5
Is there any point where our parents were this baffled by our way of thinking? I know their parents were shaken by our parent’s rock n roll and sexual liberation, but I can’t think of anything us X’ers did. This new way of thinking absolutely baffles me. I try to wrap my head around it and just cannot draw the same conclusions. I understand equality for all of my country mates, but I lose it when they want to dissolve the country and strip away everything that makes each of us unique.
 

G.I.*EDDIE

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#6
Yeah, anything our generation did was just an exaggeration of our parents experiences. Metal/punk/rap and even more sexual liberation. Though, really, it seems like the sexual stuff didn't explode until the internet and I'd say that that was the generation following ours. Was anything we did any worse that what our parents did? Yuck.
 

ThunderDan19

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#7
I blame social networking. Before that it wasn't cool to be the damaged freak. Now it's just another way to get the attention mommy and daddy never gave you...
 

nacho

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#8
So did the Xers create this monster generation? I feel like we're the most attuned/attentive generation of parents in the history of time. There's no way a lack of attention from parents is what caused this. If anything, it's parents babying their kids, preventing early failures, and robbing them of the lessons of the world. Our generation is the one giving out the participation trophies, sadly.
 

ThunderDan19

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#9
You're kinda right in a way, but carrying kids to the next soccer game or swim meet doesn't necessarily equal attention and good parenting. It just means you have to stare at your phone at the game/meet before you stare at it at McDonald's and then when you get home, but maybe you get to talk for a minute or two while driving. And preventing failures/injuries/etc. is as beneficial to the parent (not having to pay the depression medication/therapy/medical bills) as it is for the kids, so not necessary for the kids' benefit alone. And then there's the fractured/blended/rebuilt families. No baggage there. Sometimes that "like" on Facebook is the only "real" acknowledgement some of these kids get. Maybe Mom & Dad (at the other house with his other family) will run across their issues when they're skimming their feeds. Who knows, they might even talk to them in person if they notice. Remember, we're not talking about everybody, just most...
 

pcsguy88

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#10
That's incredibly accurate Dan. Being pushed out of the household has wreaked havoc on my ability to raise my child properly and then you toss in the inability to receive any communication from the mother and it leaves me relying 100% on what my daughter wants to share with me thru texts or in person the 110hrs a month I have. All I can do is talk to her like a human and explain how to make educated decisions on her own. I have to play the long game so as she gets older and gains the ability to drive, she will come to trust my stable advice and way of life over her mother's constant chaos.
 

ThunderDan19

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#11
That's rough man. It must feel impossible to get enough information transfer and quality time with such limitations. Kudos for giving it your all though. She needs your example/guidance or she'll end up settling for some dirtball someday, and then another, and another... The importance of engaged fathers cannot be overstated.
 
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pcsguy88

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#13
The ex is 48yrs old, works part time at a plant nursery for a whopping income of $12k/year and lives in her mother's basement. Claims she cannot find any other work in this employee empowered economy, so yeah... I have to make my time count and imprint as much stability as I can. No other choice. I started playing the long game since the split 6yrs ago knowing it was my only hope and there are signs it is working. The daughter notices the difference. The ex (and her mother) played the short game spewing falsehoods that the daughter can see to be untrue with her own eyes. It'd be priceless to watch unfold if it wasn't for the fact that it's a human life being manipulated.
 

nacho

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#15
It sounds like they came from objectively shitty families. No one that grows up in a non-broken family ever wishes that they were raised communally. So these people have shitty upbringings with abusive or absentee fathers, submissive and unhappy mothers, and they feel the need to tell us that the nuclear family is the enemy. Fuck that.

However, these people have never set foot in a stable, healthy family. Ask my wife if she feels oppressed. Ask her if she feels her role is illegitimate. She's an equal partner in everything we do, inside the home and outside of it.

That whole feminist mentality reeks of, "I had a crappy experience, so I want to burn it down for everyone." It's beyond moronic to let the broken toys make the rules of the playground.
 

ThunderDan19

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#16
What's most ironic is that, even after having accomplished much of what these damaged, confused and some might call straight up evil women called for, women in the west are consistently surveyed/reported as being LESS happy with their recent "freedom" from the bondage of the nuclear family and prior expectations of being married to one man their whole life. And all this effort has netted: millions upon millions of dead babies, a severely damaged societal fabric, even more miserable women (and men), hopelessly depressed children and more people dependent upon the state for their livelihood(?) than ever. Great job, ladies...
 

pcsguy88

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#17
I actually read it a different way. Seems like they are saying that a strong nuclear family is useless to their cause and therefore must be broken up so they can get their hooks in the wives and re-educate the children to bolster their numbers.
 

ThunderDan19

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#18
I suppose you'd have to know who the intended audience was for their declarations - the knowing insiders that want everyone to share their misery or those they hope to dupe with the promise of "a happier, better life."
 

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#19
Yeesh. Yeah, I don't see how any of that makes people happier.. I'm not seeing it.. you're just finding new ways to keep people miserable. I suppose miserable people are easy to rile up into doing whatever you want them to do though..

As for families.. I came from a broken family.. and now I have two kids outside and two kids inside. It's hard with the two kids who don't live with us.. I've also kind of taken a long term approach. They'll come back eventually, but there is no good to be had trying to fight with a spouse who doesn't want to help. I'm just focusing on the 2 I can control. It sucks, but I have to be practical at some point.
 

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#22
That has to wreak havoc on your mind NSA with the whole favoritism thing between kids. Hopefully the two are old enough to understand you love them all the same. You do love them all equally don’t you? :unsure:
Ehh.. probably deep down somewhere. But time takes its toll, like it or not. At the same time, the kids have favorites between their own parents, and they make that clear, so I suppose that helps color the situation as well.
 

pcsguy88

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#24
Ehh.. probably deep down somewhere. But time takes its toll, like it or not. At the same time, the kids have favorites between their own parents, and they make that clear, so I suppose that helps color the situation as well.

I'm the favorite parent for obvious reasons, I mean how could you not when all time spend together is doing or buying fun shit? Now if I had to lay down real rules on a daily basis, the pendulum might swing. My rules for her online (thank god I don't have to worry about sexual content with a daughter) is shut it off when I tell you and don't get kidnapped by using your real name anywhere. Because I discuss online stuff with her in frank terms and I let her learn how to navigate an online life, she comes to me with questions when things do arise. Like I said, playing the long game by building trust and not hovering or overreacting.

As far as the favoritism in your case, I was speaking between the ones in and out of the house. I've always thought about that after the divorce when considering having another with a new wife. The other kids come over for their weekend and see first hand all the shit you've bought for the in home kids, see their bedrooms, ect. Yet at the same time, you have to fight the temptation of overly spoiling them when they do come to visit or letting them break rules the new ones cannot. One helluva tightrope to walk.
 
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nacho

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#25
You guys are making me thankful that my life is relatively simple. Two kids, both with the same happily-married wife. I applaud your efforts to not suck as parents even when the situation is less than ideal.

In my own home, I'm definitely not the favorite parent. I'm the heavy, the dropper of the hammer. But I also tell better stories and have more toys. And I'm tech support. And I don't shy away from tough questions. So while my kids might like mom best, they know they can talk to me. I'm always amazed at the stuff my kids ask me, stuff I'd never have brought up with my parents at any age. So I consider that a huge win, knowing they are comfortable enough to ask me anything, even the uncomfortable stuff. Hopefully I can maintain that level of comfort/trust as we approach the teen years.

Speaking of which, when am I supposed to have "the talk"? The boy is 11 (5th grade). But he's still innocent and totally oblivious about girls. I don't want to ruin that prematurely, but I don't want him to be staggeringly clueless beyond the age he *should* know stuff. I've been thinking of how I'll answer one of those awkward questions, as I expect that shoe to drop any time now.
 

ThunderDan19

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#26
I did a getaway weekend at one of our resorts down in W'burg with my son when he turned 12. My wife just did the same with our daughter. It was a special weekend away from everybody else (the other parent and 3 siblings), with a planned introduction to puberty curriculum (themed, faith-based CDs with a light workbook and activities) that pretty much spelled it all out in a way that was interesting and not too campy. It was mildly awkward at times when answering some of the inevitable questions, but certainly well worth the investment. Add to that dinner and a movie, pool time and resort hang out time, and it was a fun weekend all in all.
 

nacho

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#27
My mother just gave me a little book (no doubt from the christian bookstore) about puberty and sex, told me to read it, and when I announced I was done, she asked if I had any questions. My response was, "No, it all sounds pretty gross." and that was the last any of us ever spoke of it to this day. But I don't remember what age I was at the time, probably 6th grade-ish.
 

NSA

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#29
I'm the favorite parent for obvious reasons, I mean how could you not when all time spend together is doing or buying fun shit? Now if I had to lay down real rules on a daily basis, the pendulum might swing. My rules for her online (thank god I don't have to worry about sexual content with a daughter) is shut it off when I tell you and don't get kidnapped by using your real name anywhere. Because I discuss online stuff with her in frank terms and I let her learn how to navigate an online life, she comes to me with questions when things do arise. Like I said, playing the long game by building trust and not hovering or overreacting.

As far as the favoritism in your case, I was speaking between the ones in and out of the house. I've always thought about that after the divorce when considering having another with a new wife. The other kids come over for their weekend and see first hand all the shit you've bought for the in home kids, see their bedrooms, ect. Yet at the same time, you have to fight the temptation of overly spoiling them when they do come to visit or letting them break rules the new ones cannot. One helluva tightrope to walk.
Yeah, obviously the stay at home kids get the most attention/etc. The part-time kids don't get the same, but they also realize they spend 80% of their time at the other house, where they are getting that attention/gifts/etc, so I think it evens out. If we had them 50/50 I think it would be different, and honestly a little harder to deal with. Since we see them so (relatively) rarely, it's not a big issue. They come over, we usually just have a good time, do some chores here and there and thats it. The oldest is 15, so he's almost going to be out of this custody thing (thank god, go away child support!), so he'll be able to choose where and when he goes places.

We've tried to set the ground rules the same for everyone though, so it applies if you're here full time or part time.
 

nacho

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#31
I was a late to the party, because Bible-belt. My son is such a meek and mild kid... I don't worry about him doing stuff early. I mostly just don't want him being curious and learning everything wrong from some other equally clueless kid.
 

pcsguy88

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#32
You’ve seen my childhood pics, I was the definition of meek and was in Bible Belt KC at the time. You just never know how it’s going to play out, so best to have him prepared before high school. Wrap it up son!

Still don’t know how a kid who was too shy to talk to girls had sex with 3 of them for many months each in high school. I had zero self esteem.
 

G.I.*EDDIE

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#33
I don't recall having the talk with anyone. I actually learned about it in 3rd grade from an older neighbor kid up in my treehouse.

14 for me also. The neighbor girl (14). We had been each others crush/BF/GF for a couple-few years already. A couple weeks later, walking to school, she tells me "I'm late"
. How delightfully white trash that could've been.
 

pcsguy88

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#34
Ya know, I do not remember getting the talk either from my parents... The West coast started sex ed in the 3rd grade and my brother was 3yrs older than me, so I guess it wasn’t actually needed in reality. Maybe the “talk” from parents scares kids into waiting a few extra years? Sounds like I need to repeat the talk with the daughter every weekend for the next 6yrs based on Eddie and my experiences. :panic:
 

nacho

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#35
Having an older brother probably contributed to your early learning about stuff. I had an older sister who took great pride in not talking to me. So I didn't learn squat from her. And I had nerdy little friends at private school with no real bad influences, so we were just not wild in the slightest - we wouldn't have known how if we'd wanted to. I didn't even kiss a girl until freshman year of college...:oops:
 

ThunderDan19

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#36
Yeah, despite the little "talk" and the handbook, I was a pretty naive kid as well. I had only done one year at junior high public school before going back to private school for grade 10-12. My level of experience changed significantly with my first real gf at 14. She had promiscuous older sisters (thus highly knowledgeable) and was wild and willing. At least I had the upbringing to not let it go all the way, but we did pretty much everything but. So, keeping your kids from really screwing up very well may come down to instilling that knowledge, patience and good (enough) self esteem not to let them sell themselves short. At least it did for me. That could have been a serious disaster...
 

nacho

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#37
Agreed. Even after reading the how and why guide, I knew nothing about how anything actually worked. I didn't have experienced siblings, cousins, or friends, porn wasn't available, and my whole world was relatively sheltered. It wasn't until I reached college and got a serious g/f (that was far more experienced) that I actually figured anything out. I think she took it as a challenge to break me. And once she did, she used it as a control tool for a couple of years. She was a cunning little shrew. Glad I dodged that bullet.
 

NSA

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#38
Porn being everywhere now is the big issue I think. Hell, you can find it in advertisements on websites. Everything is just a click away.. it gives kids an unrealistic expectation of things..

I think I was 15 or so and went on a trip to Canada with my dad and we stopped off at Yellowstone on the way back. There was a teenage girl at the campsite next to mine, and.. somehow.. because I had zero game and was a total nerd, ended up talking to her and we hung out all day and went and laid in the fields and looked at the stars.. and then she wanted me to do her.. but fuck I had no idea what I was doing so I kinda fumbled around and then made an excuse to run back to my campsite. They packed up and left the next day lol I felt so dumb.. but I suppose in hindsight it was good. Would have made a better story though if it went the other way!

Didn't really "do it" until shortly after I turned 18, but messed around with girls from like 16-18.
 

ThunderDan19

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#39
Back on topic with a little news/commentary drop from BW:



I couldn't care less about Kanye, but could this be a sign of cracks forming in the DNC owning the black community?